I could have not moved on
That afternoon we drifted apart
When tears flooded our pillows
And wipes littered our bedroom floors
The load was much too heavy
I could have burst out
Like an A-bomb, like supernova
(But anyway, I didn’t)
I held on to our memories
To our photographs and letters
Whose edges cut me open
I let the walls of my room
Embrace the scent you’ve left it
I wanted to feel you still
Because I could have not moved on

I tried to move on
That night you told me you already did
I cried, my pillows won’t take it any longer
And my waste bin choked out the wipes I threw
The load felt like a ton
I could have withered instantly like weed
Like a rag doll, like sand tossed in the wind
(But, anyway, I still didn’t)
I tried to endure holding on
To those damn painful mementos
That bore into me like poison, like hydrochloric acid
Whose sting got me burnt
I let the fire muffle the shouts
Get suffocated by the flames and smoke
I wanted to feel my heart
So I tried to move on

I can not move on
Each morning I long for you
I miss how we slept in one pillow
How we tidied up our floors
The loads of sweets we had
I could have hugged you real hard
Like dear teddy, like a lost lover
(But, anyway, you weren’t here)
The thoughts of us keep me hanging
The strings are still left attached
Whose length spans the years we’ve shared
I let you out, now I want you back
Rushing forth to follow your vanishing trail
I wanted my life again
My love, I could not move on.

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